Talk about stress

While in the Iraqi (simulated) town of Suliyah, trying to pay claims, one of the Captains needed to use the latrine. I went with him to provide cover. We’re not supposed to go anywhere alone. So, we moved tactically to the portapottis. I took cover behind a tree, and covered his advance on the john.

Both johns were occupied, so he took cover and waited. Two soldiers exited at the same time, and sauntered off, apparently unconcerned about security. When they passed my tree, one looked at me, smiled, and said “I’ve been waiting for that for two days. Have you ever had to poop (yes, he said poop) so bad that when you’re done you have a different pants size?”