Sunday, January 30, 2005

Perfect wife?

I was reading the Idaho Statesman, where columnist Dan Popkey was writing about an effort in Idaho to enact an anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment. Popkey wrote that Jeff Esters, Pastor at Fellowship Babtist Church, said that failure to approve the amendment could lead to men marrying dogs, or television sets. Now there's a leader who thinks outside the box.

The idea of marrying a dog is pretty far-fetched. After all, a dog is already man's best friend, so what would be the point. Plus, the thought of a dog wearing lipstick gives me the willies.

Now, marrying a TV is a different thing altogether. Imagine. The TV is never too tired to turn on. The TV never asks you to carry out the garbage, or nags you to fix the dripping faucet. If the channel you're watching is boring or depressing you can change it. You are in control of it's moods, not hormones. And, of course, the best part; the mute button on the remote control.

Jeez, what a slippery slope. We fail to pass an anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment, and soon guys are marrying TVs. What's next, guys marrying 12-packs of beer? You know what would happen then. The guy would get down to his last beer and say "Honey, I'm leaving you. I've found another 12-pack, one with a full set of cans."

Still, Pastor Esters might be on to something. What I'm confused about is, if he thinks that defeating the amendment will lead to men marrying TV's, why is he against it? He must not have a TV.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Doesn't that mean that a woman could also marry a TV. Yep, a television could stay on All NIGHT, would never ask to bring it a beer or make dinner, if the channel is too obnoxious you could change it, you could choose to watch a program to which you could relate, and best of all, the mute button on the remote.

weldermomma said...

I found your blog by accident, while searching the news for any info on the Idaho National Guard in Iraq...but I just wanted to say I have read your entire archives now and enjoy it quite a bit. My hubby is deployed with you. Well, with the Idaho guard. Your wit and wisdom are fun indeed and if it's allright with you, I wouldn't mind popping in once in awhile to see how your blog is...would that be creepy??

Anonymous said...

Weldermommy, you are welcome to visit the blog any time, and to share it with others. I'm glad you like it. Oneguy.