Gawd, Bud, y'all live like pigs

Our active duty brethren do many things well, and I think chief among them is close with and destroy the enemy. They are not so strong in the area of cleanliness, at least judging by the folks we just replaced.

I was issued a Non Tactical Vehicle (NTV) yesterday so I can get around the FOB without waiting on the bus. My NTV, a Nissan Patrol SUV (!) runs well, but it is absolutely filthy, outside and in. The exterior was caked with mud, but that washed off to reveal nice white paint. I had thought it was a tan vehicle. It has a broken headlight cover. The spare tire, which hangs on a tire carrier attached to the back door, is shredded. I can’t image how it got like that, unless someone just took a knife to it.

The inside has dried mud all over the floors. The dash and every horizontal surface has a thick layer of dust. The dashboard is broken, and has a gaping hole. The plastic surrounding the ignition is broken and missing. The ignition doesn’t work. The key won’t go in, and it will turn with anything that will file in the key slot, like a dime. Pop or something has been spilled on the seats and floor. It is littered with wrappers, sandpaper, and stencils. Looks like a homeless person lived in it.

That vehicle is reasonable representative of how the facilities we moved into were kept. Dirt and dust everywhere, and junk littered all over, inside and out. Everyone I have talked to made cleaning up the first order of business when they moved in, and every one says virtually the same thing, or a very close variant, about the active duty guys who just left; “They were pigs.”

I suppose after being here a year, and suffering through the heat of an Iraqi summer, we may lose interest in dusting. Also, it is relatively quiet here now but it hasn’t always been, and dusting seems unimportant when you’re just concerned about staying alive. Still this is the Army, and things are supposed to be kept neat and orderly.

Accidental discharges

I was watching soldiers clear, and not clear, their weapons, and saw another soldier shoot a hole in the sandbag in the clearing barrel. This time the kid killed the sandbag with his 9mm pistol. Like the others, he looked sick after it happened. He and his supervisor are both in trouble now.

Apparently there have been a few deaths and several injuries from ADs, theatre wide, so it is a serious problem. I don't know the circumstances of those incidents, but I think our requirement to clear the weapon each time we enter the chow hall is counterproductive. Most of the time when we clear the weapon before entering the DFAC, the weapon is already clear, and will have been cleared any number of times since it last had bullets. So, the soldiers think that clearing is just pro forma, an exercise that makes no sense but that they have to just do. They get in the habit of nonchalanting the clearing procedure, even when it matters.

To ensure that no soldier gets shot if an AD occurs, a rule was announced from on high that weapons must be carried in the Ready Position at all times. Instead of having the rifle slung behind your back, it must be in front. The idea is that, in front, you know where the muzzle is pointing and you will avoid pointing it at anyone. On your back, you don't know where it's pointing.

A sensible rule, but underexplained. Soldiers didn't hear the part about muzzle control; they just saw posters spring up all over showing the right and wrong way to carry the weapon. They assumed the weapon is to be carried in the Ready Position in order to be ready. But why, they asked, if we're supposed to be so ready to use the rifle, don't we have the magazine in? Since there has been no reported instances of Iraqis coming over the wire, why do we have to be so ready? If we have to be so ready for attack, where is my assigned part of the perimeter? What happens if I'm on the other side of the FOB?

Of course, such questions tend to breed contempt for the rule, and for rules in general. Carrying the weapon in front can be uncomfortable, and it gets in the way. Some soldiers ended up dropping their food trays in the chow hall because of the weapon. I'm seeing fair compliance now, but I bet it fades over time.

Birds

A huge flock of ravens has moved onto our FOB. I guess they're migrating, because I haven't seen them until a couple of weeks ago. These ravens are a bit smaller than ones I'd see around home, but they are a bit larger than crows. The base of their bill is white or light gray, and the bill is heavier than a crow's.

The flock numbers in the thousands, I'd guess. You can see them flying in huge groups at dusk, kind of like geese flying from fields to water. The landed in a field on the FOB, and turned it black, 5 or 6 birds per square yard.

I've seen sparrows that look like ones back home, and I've seen any number of birds here that I haven't seen before. However, a bird that I never expected to see is pretty common around here. The first time I saw one, I thought it must have been in a zoo and gotten away, or something. The Iraqi magpie, good ole pica pica, looks pretty much like the ones in North America. The only difference I can see is that their feathers are just black, not iridescent, and the make a slightly different squawk.

Back scratching

My assistant scrounged up a pretty nice little fridge, 220v, for us to use in our office to keep water or whatever cold. It was missing a bottom bracket for the door. Between our office and the chow hall, a maintenance company has set up shop. I used to command that company, so I stopped by and talked to a couple of guys I know there about making us a bracket.

I took a picture of where the bracket should go, holding up a ruler, and one of the guys welded me up a bracket. The holes were exactly in line. I had to take it back, though, to get the holes enlarged a bit. The soldier cheerfully drilled larger holes. It probably didn't hurt that the welder had come to my office the day before for help getting promoted, and he received his promotion orders today. We didn't have a lot to do with that, but he was happy anyway.

Sound sleeper

I've been having network problems lately, so my posting has been a little behind.

The other night, about 0200, I was awakened by the WHAM of our artillery going off. It went off again a minute and a half later, and again, and again, and again, every minute and a half for a half hour. It was shooting illumination rounds; magnesium flares that slowly drift down, burning brightly. I guess they burn for about a minute and a half. I went outside after a few explosions and looked, and could see the flares.

After a little while, I went back to bed and fell asleep, even with the regular loud explosions. Once your brain figures out what the noise is, it doesn't bother to jump at the sound. I once spent 10 days running a tank range, and slept in a tent about 50 years from the first firing point. When the tank would unleash a round, the shock wave would cause the tent to flap. After the first few rounds on the first night, I slept right through the noise for the rest of the time.

Yesterday, however, we shot off some illum rounds around 0500. I woke up with my heart hammering and laid there waiting for the Big Voice to tell us it was incoming fire. It didn't, and a couple of minutes later another WHAM of outgoing artillery, and then a few more, for about 15 mintues. Couldn't get back to sleep; too close to the time to get up, I guess.

What a way to start your day.

Waste Fraud and Abuse

A while back I wrote about our new laundry facility. 55 new washers, 110 new dryers, but inadequate wiring and apparently cheap washers and dryers.

I went in today to do a load of laundry and as I was looking around for an open working dryer, a sergeant sitting there told me that only three - 3 - washers are currently working. Good grief.

I'm sure that GI's are hard on the equipment. I've seen soldiers cram the wash tubs as full of clothes as they can get in, so that's got to be hard on the motors. Still, I wonder why they aren't getting fixed. In some cases, the washer is sitting there full of water that won't drain. Either the pump has conked out, or it's some simple fix. We've had them less than 60 days; they must still be under warranty.

If I were conspiracy minded, I'd note that KBR (probably) is supposed to maintain the W/Ds. I'd also note that KBR has the contract to do laundry on a turn in basis, and I'd guess that KBR gets paid by the number of loads they do. So if the free laundry facility is shut down, more laundry goes to the KBR laundry. I dunno, I just wish I could go do a load of laundry. KBR takes 3 days.

Also, on our FOB there are 22 new Dodge Durangos, just sitting exposed to the weather. They have been here since before we got here; how long altogether, I dunno but at least 70 days. I hear that they will continue to sit there for the foreseeable future. Soldiers are not allowed to drive them. I guess they belong to the State Dept so we can give them to the Iraqis, but there is some hold up. Even if they cost as little as $10,000 each, that's $220,000 in taxpayer $$ that's just rotting away in in the Iraqi sun.

Wheels

As we get more and more "mature" on our FOB, some things improve. I have been riding the bus to get around, which works, but it is very time consuming. It doesn't keep a schedule, so you have to leave way in advance in order to be sure you get where you're going on time. So, yesterday when I was able to draw a HUMMV to get around, I was pretty happy.

Surprisingly, it is an up-armored model. It doesn't have the hardened roof, and it has kevlar blankets on the floor so I guess it doesn't have the floor plates installed, but, it's wheels. It has air conditioning, which seems to work pretty well.

The unit that preceded us here had this Hummer, and boy is it a rattle trap. Very noisy to drive. Our mechanics gave it the once over to note faults and to order parts, and they came with these faults: Tail gate inop, hinges worn, needs serviced, windshield wiper motor missing (and it rained to day - I was yanking the connecting rod back and forth by hand), air intake grill dented, windshield washer nozzles broken, left rear antenna bracket broken, missing safety pin in tow pintle, safari rack front mount broken, missing rack bracket, and a broken oil dipstick.

Still, seems to run OK. One owner, low mileage, needs work.

Fuel point

I went to the fuel point the other day, to fuel up after our dump run. The fuel point is off the beaten path, near the dump, but is a driver’s dream. You just pull up and start fueling. The pump doesn’t even have a counter to track gallons, and of course, no charge. When you’re done, replace the nozzle and drive away, guilt free. The air you pollute is not in your own country.

There are only a couple of MOGAS (regular civilian gasoline) pumps, but I’ve not seen a line either time I was there. There more diesel pumps, because most military vehicles run on diesel. The don’t have much in the way of window washing equipment, either, nor any attached convenience store. Can’t have everything, I guess. On the other hand, you can get jet fuel there, which is something you don't see at the corner gas station.

The Dump

I went to the FOB dump today. I bumped into a friend who had the back of his pickup full of boxes and empty water bottles, and he had a dump trip planned. As we exited the chow hall talking about it, a small bearded guy dressed all in blue, including his baseball cap, overheard us and asked us who we needed to see there. Apparently it’s quite the place to conduct business. We told Blue Guy we just needed to drop off some garbage, and he inquired about the size of the load, its contents, our vehicle, all that technical dump stuff. We could tell he had an in at the dump, and sure enough, he said proudly with a big stained-tooth smile that he runs it.

He then gave us detailed instructions about how to get there, which he concluded with a grin, a wink and a nod saying “Just look for the smoke.”

We drove around the perimeter of the FOB toward the dump. On the way, we saw three Iraqi kids digging something just outside the wire; 3 kids, 2 shovels, and 1 bicycle. We speculated that they were emplacing an IED, but if so, it was way too far off the road.

We followed the smoke to the dump and waited a few minutes for Blue Guy to get there to unlock the gate. I always wonder why they lock dumps; afraid someone will steal the garbage? Anyway, we got in past another grin, dumped our trash, and drove out. While there, some Air Force guys drove up, apparently through an ungated back entrance. They circled the dump a couple of times and drove off in a cloud of dust.

When we got back, I told my driver “Thanks, dad” because it had reminded me of going to the dump with my dad when I was a kid, which I always enjoyed. He said, “That was a fun Saturday trip” even though it’s Thursday. I guess everyone likes to go to the dump. Blue Guy surely does.

Dirtbags?

We had a welcoming speech by a sergeant major when we first got here. He said he would welcome us here, but he didn't want to welcome us to a sh*thole. Well, that view is pretty commonly shared.

Things are just dirty, dusty and run down. Looting after the invasion certainly didn't help, but it's easy to tell that even without the looting there wasn't a lot of what we'd consider nice. Building construction seems haphazard. Straight lines in Iraqi buildings are optional and rare. Even in the nicer, larger buildings, buildings which used to be large homes or office buildings, the windows are all single pane and poorly fitted. Doors are hollow core, or just thin metal. For a place that gets so hot, insulation doesn't seem to be in vogue. When it rains, roofs leak and water doesn't drain away from buildings but instead gets into the buildings.

I'm sure that a couple years of GI occupation haven't helped, but again, I can tell things weren't all that nice to begin with. Cheap tile poorly laid, cheap bathrooom fixtures, poor lighting, all tell the tale. It may look good at first, but won't last. Bathroom fixtures that look like gold when new, but just look like fake gold later. And those I saw in one of Saddam's palaces, along with large chandeliers which look like crystal are are actually plastic.

Iraqis set up road side stands to sell soda and whatnot out of. It's hard to see whizzing by at 55 mph. There will be several together, usually at an intersection or traffic circle. Invariably, behind the stands is a pile of garbage. Wrappers, boxes, empty soda bottles, etc. It looks like the stand proprietors just toss their junk out back. The fields around them are littered with garbage that has been blown from the stands. Apparently litter laws are non-existant or not enforced.

A guide to Iraqi culture says that they think Americans dress too casually, and that Iraqis take pains in dressing. I guess that may be, but I suspect that is only among the upper crust. I see Iraqi army and police, and they just don't grasp the concept of a military appearance, at least not as most armed services view it. Hats not worn or worn crooked, coats or shirts undone and not tucked in, boots not bloused, shined or laced up. And, I never see any two wearing the same uniform. It's called a uniform for a reason; its uniform, everyone wears the same. Lack of military discipline. You also see it in news footage of them in battle, not only what they wear but how they act. They just jump up, hold the trigger down on a rifle until the magazine is empty, spraying bullets in the general direction of the target. No wonder they don't hit anything.

Dead Dog Walking

One of our General Orders is not to feed or make pets of local animals, including dogs and cats. Some of them are feral, and most are vectors, so we just don’t want them around.
I’ve seen cats around the FOBs, but they are always very wary. I suppose they are tolerated, in order to keep rats and mice down. At least, I don’t see an active trapping effort.
I’ve seen a couple of stray dogs here and there. Lately, one has been hanging around our headquarters. Our unit veterinarian came in the other day, all worked up, because she had seen soldiers feeding the dog a cookie from the chow hall. She was afraid it would poison the dog.
Actually, she was worried about the soldiers. The Middle East and Iraq have incidents of rabies. Some soldiers in Afghanistan, about 20 of them, were recently bitten by a rabid dog. Treating so many consumed quite a bit of our rabies vaccination stockpile.
Not long ago, when she found out that some other dog on our FOB was being kept as a pet, she leapt into action. I’m not sure whether it bit someone or not, but once she got wind of it, she commandeered the mutt (KBR has a dogcatcher), whacked it, cut off its head (standard rabies protocol) and send the head to Germany for testing. No word whether the head has turned up in anyone’s bed.
So, she now has her sights set on the headquarters pooch. After listening to her, I walked outside and looked at the dog for a little while, from the distance of about 50 feet. The dog saw me looking at it, got up, put its head down and walked toward me, wagging its tail. Unfortunately, a friendly, nice looking dog, though pretty dirty and matted. I walked away from the dog, even though what I wanted to do was pet it. I hope it wanders off, because otherwise its days are numbered, I'm afraid.

Army and Air Force

These two sister services just do things differently. During the day, the AF just wears a soft cap, and no protective gear. However, at night, when rocket attacks usually occur, they wear the helmets and protective vests. The Army wears helmets all the time, but only wears the protective armor when engaged in a mission. So at the evening meal, AF is in body armor and helmet, Army just in the helmet.

Army carries its weapons all the time, and we're supposed to carry a certain amount of ammunition as well. We have magazines loaded with bullets, but we don't insert the magazine unless we go on a mission. We may or may not put a round in the chamber, depending on the missions. Army always keeps its weapons on safe until actually ready to fire. Don't put it on fire unless you actually plan to shoot. We always clear our weapons before we enter a building, even if it's been weeks since we had a magazine in the weapon. The AF don't carry weapons, generally. But, if they do, they always have the magazine in and put a round in the chamber, and keep the weapon on fire, even when they go in buildings.

And speaking of sisters, Army and AF females have different requirements. AF females are allowed to wear ear rings; just posts, I think, nothing fancy. I often see AF females wearing makeup. Again, pretty subdued, but nevertheless still there. Army females wear neither makeup or ear rings. You don't see any femininity in the army, at least, not around here.

Everbody's Got To Be Somewhere

Went to another FOB recently, passed IED alley without event, but almost got left behind at the FOB. When it's time to go, by god, it's time to go. If you late, you late, ain’t nobody’s fault but you own. I’ve been left behind once already, so I’m sensitive about it.
I don't get any business done hanging around the main group, so I go off to talk to soldiers. However, the only way I know when they're leaving is when they pack up. If I'm not there to see it, I miss out. I was hanging around watching for them to leave, but got in a conversation and they left when I wasn't looking. I was about 10 feet away. Guess they didn't see me. Must be the camo.
Anyway, I noticed it had gotten real quiet, so I packed up and headed for the vehicles. I didn’t see them, and asked a soldier about the convoy. He said it just left; talk about a sinking feeling. I was headed back to the TOC, thinking about how to catch a ride back, when our convoy wheeled around a corner. Believe me, I was staring at the faces behind the windshields with great intensity, hoping to recognize someone. I did, my boss, and I hopped in. My boss said "You’re lucky." Indeed.
Turns out he was also lucky. He had another meeting back at our FOB, for which he arrived a half hour late. We had convoyed right through lunch. As he got out for his meeting, I offered him a Power Bar, which he eagerly accepted. Had we both not been so lucky, me and my Power Bar would have both been back in the other FOB.

Old Pottery

My CHU is on a light upslope that leads to a small hill. The hillside is within rock throwing distance; very close. On the other side of the hill, about 100 years, the Air Force was digging up dirt to fill sandbags or Hesco barriors or something. As they cut into the hill, they noticed pottery shards. They ceased the digging and called experts, including the Iraq Ministry of Antiquities. Turns out the hill is chock full of these shards, some up to about 5,000 years old. The AF strung concertina wire around the site and moved on.
On my side of the hill, somebody built a volleyball court. To level it out, they had to dig into the side of the hill. This is not protected by concertina wire. I walked up there recently and, sure enough, littered with pottery shards. There are so many that at first it would seem to be some kind of dumping ground. We thought maybe Saddam had rolled up some local villages and dumped the remains there.
In the area the size of a normal card table, there are probably a hundred shards, of various sizes, the biggest about the size of your hand. The are also bones in the hill, and according to research I saw on the internet, some bones are humans. I didn't care to dig around much. Pottery shards are not all that fascinating to me, even if they are really old.

Library

We have a library here, run by the Air Force, housed in a temporary building the Army calls Clamshells, and the AF calls Hershey's Kisses. It receives donated books, books that have been read by soldiers, some new books, and places them all on shelves for soldiers and airmen to just take, no checkout involved. I stopped by today, and a shipment of new books had arrived. I picked up a copy of “Old Man and the Sea.” The library does have some hardback books which must be checked out.

It also has a good DVD selection, and a few music CDs. Again, these are for checkout at not cost. The only downside, you only get them for 48 hours.

The Air Force has a sergeant devoted full time to running the library. He is there from 0800 – 1200, and 1300 – 1800. A friendly guy who does a nice job. The library is open 24/7/365, and apparently is a place to go for sweethearts. There are multiple signs outlawing PDAs; public displays of affection. No kisses in the Kisses.

Big iron on my hip

You've watched the old westerns, and have seen how men wore pistols in holsters strapped to their legs. Usually the holster hung off a second belt, and featured a leather tie to secure the bottom of the holster to the thigh. I never really thought about that, much, until lately.

Now I wear a holster and pack a pistol everywhere, and, frankly, it's a PITA. It might be different if I ever got to use it, but I don't, other than to clear it 3 or 4 times daily.

I had to get a special belt; a stiff, thick one, to support the holster, which hangs over the belt. I also had to start wearing suspenders, because the weight of the pistol and bullets pulls my pants down. Since I suffer from noassatol, the belt alone was insufficient.

The holster straps at the bottom around my thigh. However, my thigh tapers down from the hip to the knee, so the straps just tend to cause the holster to pull down. And, since I can't keep the strap very tight, the holster tends to flop around when I walk. This movement in turn is wearing out my pants leg under the holster.

The belt, suspenders and thigh strap don't do much for convenience when using the restroom, either. All in all, I'll bet that the pistol strapped to the hip was not as popular as the movies might protray it.

Saluting

Everyone is familiar with the military tradition, requirement, of saluting. I do a lot of saluting, on a daily basis, mostly walking back and forth to and from the dining facility. I probably salute between 25 and 50 times daily, which works out to about 1,000 salutes a month.

Saluting is taught in basic training, and it is executed in a very specific fashion. Enlisted and lower ranking officers must salute higher ranking officers. The hand, wrist and forearm must form a straight line, arm at 90 degrees, hand touching the brim of the headgear or the forehead above the eyebrow

Few soldiers give a regulation salute. The variations are legion: hand tilted down, with the palm covering the eye; hand tilted up, exposing the palm, like the British; forearm vertical, palm toward the face; forearm vertical, thumb toward eye, with a downward chop like a machete; arm and hand not straight, curved like a gooseneck. Some crack off a sharp salute, one where the arm is rigid and the hand quivers briefly after coming to a stop at the forehead. Many soldiers give a lazy, half-hearted salute where they just slowly raise a hand, kind of like they are going to scratch an eyebrow. This is always accompanied by a thin smile; they know they are giving a poor salute. Some don’t even bother to salute; they will study the ground, or be fascinated with something off in the distance, so they don’t see me.

Occasionally a soldier will say a phrase when saluting, like “Warriors,” or “Gimlets,” or “First to Fire,” or the verbose “Rainbow, sir, never forget.” These always throw me. What do you say to that? “F*ckin’ A, soldier”? “Right on, dude”? They just spit out the phrase as you pass them, and by the time you figure out what they just said, because they usually don’t enunciate well, you’ve moved past them.