Uncle Eldon, my favorite uncle, was killed in a car wreck yesterday. He was 74 and very active, and much loved by his family and friends. His loss seems so sudden and overwhelming. It is hard to be here where I can’t be with my family to grieve. That is a bad feeling, and so is the sense of helplessness I’m feeling. Not much I can do from here but send an email and order some flowers. A fairly pitiful gesture, given the devastating loss my Aunt and cousins have suffered.
I have heard many other soldiers go through similar situations. I overheard one divorced female soldier tearfully saying that she had left her children with her mother, but the father has visitation. Her children had started to report to grandma behavior by dad that bordered on abuse. The soldier feared that the father was going to snatch the children and move to another state. The soldier could not leave for home to take care of this. She was helpless.
Another soldier’s love went awry, and his fiancé told him on Christmas Eve that it was over between them. She was living in his house, wouldn’t pay rent, wouldn’t move out, wouldn’t give access to his family to get his stuff. He was helpless to take care of it.
I know of two soldiers whose wives became depressed and suicidal after their husband left. The soldiers can take two weeks of leave, but that won’t fix suicidal depression. The husband has to just try to give comfort and reassurance over the phone, and hope for the best.
The price soldiers pay to serve often is not visible.
2 comments:
Often civilian focus is "over there" with you guys and what you must be going through--I don't think most of us consider the tragedies like your uncle that happen "over here" . . . thanks again for your post.
I am really sorry to hear about your uncles death. Our condolences to you and your family.
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