Six months later

I've been home for about six months now, and a blurb I wrote for a local publication kind of sums things up. Here it is.

Slipping seamlessly back into civilian life does not exactly describe my experience since returning from Iraq. I remembered how to drive a car, operate a washer, look up a statute, turn right on red and ride a bicycle, but I’ve enjoyed odd little hiccups of reentry.

In my absence, my civilian job migrated to another employee, never to return, so I have been learning new job duties at the Idaho Industrial Commission. My military position, Inspector General, was a casualty of the 116th’s reorganization and it vanished, dropping me into a slot for which I’ve not been trained, with duties that have not been explained to me, and with a boss who has not been identified. With these parameters it will be either very easy or impossible to succeed.

These things have changed. I am now easily startled; a ringing phone will accelerate my pulse, and a loud sound will stop it. I get very emotional hearing about injured and killed soldiers, as if I personally knew the victim. When I left Iraq I had a certain fondness for the Iraqi people, but my heart has hardened with each American casualty and I have little good will left for Iraqis. I have much more experience with listening to people explain their problems, but have much less patience for it. I have been strangely reluctant to balance my check book or figure out my monthly finances. Time spent with my children feels incredibly precious.

My memories of Iraq are bright and fresh and yet it seems to have happened a long time ago. I miss being involved in such an important and historic endeavor; the simplicity of the lifestyle (no cooking, no dishes to wash, few choices to make); my fellow soldiers; the way work and personal life were as one. I don’t want to go back, but would if called.

The sky is very blue here, and I’m still waiting for a hot day. It’s great to be back.

Before and after, or then and now, pix below.

Craven and Cowardly

I guess something happened at Haditha, but until we get the facts I can’t draw any conclusions. I do know two things about it, however. One, if the Marines murdered innocent civilians, especially children, then they should receive full punishment.

Before I get to number two, I’d also like to note that it seems like Marine tactics should be reviewed. Marines purposefully instill a violent warrior ethos, which can serve them well in war. It can also lead to atrocities if not balanced by a strong values. Maybe I just notice Marines more but it seems like they get into this kind of trouble more than soldiers. Soldiers outnumber marines in Iraq by, what, 5 to 1, or something like that? Wouldn’t you expect more bad news about soldiers? Also, Marines seem to be in the news more for losing large groups at a time. I recall an incident last fall when 12 or so Marines, including female Marines, were killed by a roadside bomb.

I haven’t done the research so can’t really say, but I’d bet that more Marines are killed per capita than soldiers. I don’t think this is just because they are in more violent places. I have great respect for Marines and their war fighting capability; I’m just saying that I hope a high level review is conducted of their tactics and ethos because it looks like Marines are involved in problems that should be prevented.

The other thing I know about the killings in Haditha is that I keep hearing media reports of Iraqis complaining about the killings. (Apparently people were killed; whether Marines did that improperly I don’t know.)

Ya know, I am sick of hearing those complaints, and I have about zero sympathy for the Iraqis. I do feel sorry for the kids, but the adults, f**k them. Those bastards know damn good and well who the insurgents are, the ones who are trying to kill Americans and other Iraqis, and either they sympathize or they’re too goddam craven to stand up and report the info to the authorities.

These towns and neighborhoods are composed such that everybody knows what’s going on. They are much more personal than here in the States where you might not know your neighbor and be aware of their comings and goings. The people, culture and infrastructure make it pretty much impossible for the neighbors not to know.

If the Iraqis would step up and help stop the insurgents, our billions of dollars could help get the country back on its feet. But no, they won’t help out. They just stand around and bitch about how bad it is.

I know I’m generalizing, that there are exceptions, but yes, I think they are generally a bunch of cowards. They are not providing the crucial help and information, and they enable the insurgents to destroy infrastructure and kill innocents. F**k them and the camels they rode in on. American young people are getting killed over there, trying to help stand up the country. I say a pox on the worthless bastard Iraqis.

I hope the Marines didn’t do what has been alleged. It is wrong and not consistent with our ethos, but I can see how our military forces could wig out in that situation, given the depth of my feelings even at this remove. A bad deal all the way around.